Autopilot

from Chris by Big Nothing

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lyrics

I’m caught in a daydream about leaving here for good.
Maybe if I move down to Virginia, I’ll find myself in a better mood.
But Gabby always says when I’m freaking out and feeling incomplete
“Wherever you go - there you’ll be.”
There you’ll be.

A seedy motel where your family spent
Your birthdays when you were young
It was the place that I felt out of place
Around the people that I love
Is it me? Or is it the weed? Or the beach in February
That’s got me feeling pathetic? I’ll never get it.
I’ll always think you hate me.

All of this feels unreal - it feels like I’m dead.
So I hit cruise control so I can’t hear the thoughts inside my head.

Pump me full of caffeine.
I will fly autopilot.

It’s so hard to tell what I’m thinking about
When the music is blaring loud.
I think that it’s better that way.
It puts some space between my brain and my stupid mouth.
I’m feeling old and more ignored.
I’m like a dead rose without the thorns.
I don’t feel like lying - it’s too much work. I’ll just wait out the storm.

Oh my god. I feel so dumb when I’m trapped inside my head.
I can see that you want to run. Will you stay with me instead?

Pump me full of caffeine.
I will fly autopilot.
I will fly until I burn up in the sky.

credits

from Chris, released May 10, 2019

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Big Nothing Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Chris
Liz
Matt
Pat

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